What's Happening at Summer Camp?
NOTE: Newsletters will go into the Archives as soon as a new one is posted.
June 2, 2009
I received a call from a friend asking me why I hadn't added anything to the newsletter lately. I guess I forgot. The business of living and dreaming has kept me away from the things that make me the happiest. My friend calls it getting caught up in the Illusion. My Illusion has been a problem knee. A year ago I had surgery on it and now it's started being problematic again. For months I've been putting up with it being swollen and painful. I finally decided to have it checked out by my surgeon. After an exam, an MRI, and an injection of cotrtisone, I wish I had decided to deal with it from somewhere outside the Illusion. The injection left it even more swollen, and I felt like the tendons in the back of my leg were getting shorter making it impossible to put my heal on the floor to walk normally. That was probably a defense mechanism, because it was so painful I didn't want to put any weight on it anyway! The shot was a shock to my system, I am such a big baby, and about 12 hours afterward my whole body went spinning out of control in a fit of panic. I was sick, I couldn't think clearly, and I didn't even realize I needed to think clearly. I was caught up fully in the moment. It wasn't until a short time ago, that I realized I had known there was no tear in the knee. I knew it sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the results. The shot of cortisone may or may not do anything for the knee, but the decision to have it done was a clear indication that I am not yet willing to stand on my own two feet.
I have things to do, and I don't need the distraction of this magnitude to be the excuse not to get on with where my path is taking me. Putting my time into something that has meaning for me often scares me. My body and my spirit fight over the direction I want to go, but can't seem to get started. I will my spirit to drag my body into the path and I will my guides and guardians to be there in the transition from Illusion to Perfection. I have a journey. I know what it is. I want to explore the intricacies and I want to get excited about the tiniest details. My spirit is in a hurry and my body is dragging it's feet... or knee.. in this case.
Stay tuned... we'll see how this all works out in the weeks to come.
Take care and take peace,
Patricia